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The honeymoon has been over for some time now and you're wiping the dust off the frame that holds the picture of your smiles from your wedding day. Your beginning to wonder to yourself if the joy from that day left with the guest. Why did you marry so soon? Did you choose the right one? Why doesn’t it feel the same as it did before?
At some point in time, most married couples ask this question. It isn’t that they no longer love one another, it is just that you have become set in a routine that you are like a train on a circular track going around and around, doing the same things everyday. You began to take each other for granted. Instead of looking at your partner with the anticipation, “What will he do today?” or “I wonder what he is doing right now” you already know the answer. Many couples get their priorities out of order without even realizing it. They try to do “What is expected of them” instead of what is right for them.
Many times we think that since our employers are the ones that pay us, they take a higher priority. Maybe you have little ones that demand a lot of attention and that is fine so long as you do not get out of practice on how you made those little ones to begin with.
Unfortunately when these feelings come on, rather it be a few months or years, most of us think that means the end of a marriage. This is not the case, your marriage has just fallen asleep and you need to wake it up! If you are a newlywed or a golden anniversary couple, here are some ideas to open the marriage eyes. To begin this we need to go back to the vows. These were not just words spoken to pass a test so you can get a paper to say you are married. These are words to live by, meditate on and most
important, act on.
To have and to hold from this day forward: With each new morning, you are given a new day to look forward to with your spouse. Think to yourself, what one thing can you do today that will make his/her life better. What about the holding part when some days you don’t even have enough time for even a quick kiss as you go about your daily jobs?
This is a very important part of marriage, something that is reserved for the two you and the two of you only. In the Bible it says: The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I
think this is very wise advice if you are a believer or not. The reason being is, temptation is everywhere and adultery is advertised all around us as something sweet to eat but it doesn’t warn us of the heartburn afterwards. To avoid this I think you need to devote at least one night a week to spend a little extra time behind closed doors, giving your loved one extra attention. Think and ponder ahead of time something you will do that will be
considered suprising and special.
During this time, watch your spouse, let your souls meet through your eyes. The difference this moment can make can last a week. But don’t forget about the other days of the week, they just don’t need to be as detailed as that one night.
For better or for worse: We have to realize that not everyday is going to be a good day. Somedays are better than others. This is a fact of life. Sometimes the good times will last a while but other times it will be the worse that seems to be lasting. You need to take these times one step at a time. If you run to fast you will run off the track.
Be patient for as long as it takes, remember the good times, find ways you can work as a team to get through the harder times other than fighting each other. Remember you got married to become one, to be partners together, not competitors against one another.
Promise to be faithful until death do you part: How many days we have to live is a mystery. To some death is very far off while others it is quite near, this is something you often don’t find out too far in advance. Being faithful isn’t just about not having sexual relations with someone else, it is about commitment. You need to give your thoughts to your husband/wife on an hourly basis. You need to devote the rest of your life to trying to make your loved one’s life better, more enjoyable. How you say if they do not be doing the same? The answer is simply they should be and if not we need to be faithful to accept them as is. We need to communicate with them our needs even if it does cause conflict. Babies don’t get new teeth without a little bit of pain, your relationship can’t grow either if you don’t have some discomfort as well. Strive to make
your spouse be your best friend, do the things for him/her that you would do for your best friend, smile, offer something, live with and enjoy your spouse.
Renew your vows everyday: write your wedding vows down somewhere where you can see them everyday. Everyday make a new commitment to your marriage. The vows don’t mean anything if they can hold the marriage. I hope you will have many happy years together because in a marriage there is no easy way out, it is almost always better to keep trying. If you can, slip on your wedding attire in front of a full length mirror, watch your video, look at pictures, but everyday keep remembering your happiness and always move forward and forgive the little mishaps that your spouse does that annoy you. Always keep trying and your effort will pay off in the end. Best wishes for a happy life together.
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